And Weeeee’re Outta Here

Today’s “The Day”! We’re graduating from eighth grade for the last time!

Last kid out of middle school is a rotten egg!

Well, not really.

He’s the egg, the school’s where that faintly sulphuric scent is coming from.

Sometimes I randomly pause in the middle of my day and take a moment of silent thanks that in four more years, I’ll be quit of the public education system for good.

There were some years I thought, “You know, it’s not that bad”.

And then another ‘doozy‘ would surface.

The system is run by crazy people. They sit around in closed rooms and throw darts at phrases on the walls. Whatever they hit, they put into the system.

Much like the decision to have children, phrases like “Common Core” and “classroom size cap” and “lunchtime salad bar” were probably a good idea during the five minutes they were discussed.

No one took a moment to see how the ideas lined up as a whole. If they even made sense.

Riddle me this:

Is it or is it not counter-intuitive to have my teen read an award winning literature book filled with angst against society and ending in suicide…and also hold a suicide prevention assembly? They tell the kids to watch each other for signs of depression, and then make them all read books and watch videos that are, to put it mildly, totally depressing.

Have you ever worked as a lunch time monitor?

I always made my kids bring a sack lunch to school because at least I knew what they were eating. Or not eating. Sort of.

Dozens of children were receiving free lunches from a school system that provided a salad bar nicer than Home Town Buffet. Healthy free lunches! I would have loved my kids to partake.

But.

When you only get 25 minutes for lunch, and ten of them are spent in the lunch line, you have to choose between 15 minutes of play time or eating.

All those lovely lunches went into the trashcan.

I know, because I had to supervise it and ensure that none of the uneaten food got shared with classmates who actually wanted to sit down and eat.

It makes no sense.

The public school system attempts to give our children a well rounded education, trying to fill in the gaps that we negligent parents leave when we deliberately attempt to keep their education narrow.

Sex education comes to mind.

In case we shy awkward parents can’t seem to bumble through the difficult phrases of the Facts of Life, our school teachers will do it for us.

And let me tell you, even at kindergarten level, the Facts of Life are slowly becoming the Suggestions of Life.

But I just want to know…if you’re so sure, School Board, that my seventh grader is going to become sexually active immediately, and I as a parent am only able to stand helplessly by and wring my hands, is it possible that you have played a part in that occurring?

It’s a bit like having YouTube videos that walk you through the exact process of how to make a bomb. You know, in case a terrorist needs some help finding direction in his life.

There was, however, something that happened most triumphantly in a public school.

Had it been deliberate, I would give you kudos.

But you didn’t.

So.

No.

Sex Ed was finally taught correctly. Accidentally, but thoroughly.

Tune in on Tuesday, I’ll tell you all about it.

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