Author Archives: Jolie

About Jolie

Raising five crazy kids with the Hubby in SoCal and hoping to catch some of the zesty flavor of life through my writing career. Enjoy!

Foiled by the Fitbit

The Wellness Committee interrupts this program with an important message: This is a test of the emergency sweat system. This is only a test. If this were a real workout, you would hear your fat screaming as it burned, followed by the whimper of your abused respiratory tract. Pay no attention to that shackle on […]

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Sun Salutation

Alone. Silent. Close the door. Bare feet flat, shoulders back, feel your vertebrae How many are there? Breathe in…one, two, three hold it. close your eyes release the dross back into the houseplants Listen. laundry humming in the distance thoughts humming in the ears breathe, two, three… tip the hips, hug your liver open the […]

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The Mothers Day Hotline

Good morning, and thank you for calling the Mother’s Day Hotline. If you are waiting in bed for a tray of burnt toast, spilt juice, and a macaroni necklace, enjoy the following selections at leisure. Otherwise, please choose carefully. If you are currently considering becoming a mother, please press 1. If you are pregnant and […]

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My Affair, Summed Up

There’s something you should know, and it’s time I just came out and said it. Last year, for a month, I had an affair with another man. It wasn’t something I went looking for and I never meant it to go as far as it did. He was kind, he was engaging, he was interested […]

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