Category Archives: Elementary m’Dear

Sibling Riflery

It’s rough being the youngest child. You believe everything your siblings tell you, go along with all their ideas, and volunteer to drive their get-away car. You spend your whole life wanting to be cool like them. It never occurs to you to question why they would make you stand outside the secret clubhouse, coming […]

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When Your Second-Grader Gets Suspended

All of my years of volunteering and parenting, all of my years deep breathing in the hall closet while my kids watched Sesame Street, had prepared me for this one moment in time. The following phone call was left out of my child’s CUM file. (That’s short for ‘cumulative records’, the master file that follows […]

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And Weeeee’re Outta Here

Today’s “The Day”! We’re graduating from eighth grade for the last time! Last kid out of middle school is a rotten egg! Well, not really. He’s the egg, the school’s where that faintly sulphuric scent is coming from. Sometimes I randomly pause in the middle of my day and take a moment of silent thanks […]

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Pediatrician Praises

The unthinkable just happened. Our health provider sent me a stack of notices. One for each child. All saying the same thing. Our family pediatrician is retiring and passing the baton to another doctor. How is this possible? This is the guy who held my infant firstborn. And each newborn that followed. He listened to […]

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