Welcome to “Chick Days” and my Puffy Peeps Give Away Drawing!
I’m not discussing my girlfriends, people, I’m discussing the fluffy chicken nuggets that everyone is about to rush out and buy because spring is springing and, darn it all, they’re adorable.
When I was little, my parents kept giant multi-level incubators from which hatched every chick imaginable. I would watch an egg the size of my thumbnail crack open and a tiny button quail puff would wobble around waiting to be rescued from between the egg turners.
So I understand the tractor-beam adorability going on. Been there, done that.
But frankly, I’d stick to the marshmallow variety if I were you.
These little mallows are just as cute and squeezy, but they won’t grow up and poop in the house.
Before you go down to the feed store and buy peeps for your peeps, you need to have a brooder and a box ready.
Don’t go crazy and get more than six hens. That’s a heap of hens. My favorite number is three.
Regardless, have a very large box with shavings in the bottom, water and chick mash available, and a Metal Mama brooder.
I’m glad you asked.
Dad has been in the business, as I implied, since always. He makes every animal container you could dream up, and most of his construction is custom.
Think kennels, aviaries, tortoise homes, coops.
He calls it a “Metal Mama” and you need to put it in a corner of your box, not the middle. Chicks regulate their body temperature on their own, so give them options. They stay under the mama’s wings to get warm, and wander out exploring to cool off.
The bulbs used inside the Mama resemble the heat of a 60 watt incandescent, similar to heating elements from a reptile store, and are much cooler than the 150 watt naked bulbs that people mistakenly hang over their poor hot chicks. And there are two, in case one burns out in the middle of the night.
Your peeps start growing.
During week one, they stick close to their metal mama.
Your kids hang out next to the box 24/7 and name the chickees.
During week two, the chicks pace the entire limits of their box and start having thoughts.
Your kids start thinking about Minecraft and wander off.
Sometime in the middle of week three, you will walk in and find chicks perched on the edge of your cardboard box, pooping on the WRONG side of it and wondering how to break into the fridge.
You holler at the kids, wondering why the chicks are out of water again, and remove the metal mama because these chicks are giving her the stink eye.
It feels familiar.
Week four is liberation time. The fuzz is now feathers. They are becoming tweenagers.
Hopefully you’ve built them a poultry palace with multiple canopy beds, because it’s time for them to move out and get a job.
They will be just fine in the wilds of your coop.
Oh. It’s snowing out there?
Guess they will just have to live at home with you then, leaving dishes in the sink and watching Netflix till all hours.
You should have seen this coming, people.
Let’s stick with marshmallow peeps for today’s drawing, though adorability and my genetics demand otherwise.
Kindly subscribe to my blog or comment in the box below about anything ‘spring chicken’ and I will put you into the drawing for a package of oozy gooey sticky smushy marshmallow peeps.
I think the Postman is the only natural predator for this variety of peep; apparently they send treats to “Singapore”.
So we’ll do our best.