Well, this is it, the moment we were all waiting for: The Day the Middle Child Moves Out.
My daughters have signed a lease on a little rental for the year of our Lord, 2019, and although I am rejoicing at this next step towards raising independent strong adults, I am also standing frozen in my closet, a blouse in each hand, traumatized at the realization that I will be the only female left in a house full of testosterone.
Ready or not, the winds of change are blowing and it’s going to take an industrial sized bottle of Febreeze to get me through.
2019 is therefore dedicated to opening some conversations. Maybe some hard ones. I need help with these feels and fuzzies. I am happy and sad and worried and proud and celebratory and lonely. My nest isn’t empty just yet. It’s ridiculous. I have a big pile of feels and nowhere to swoon.
The Forgetful Files to the rescue. Our motto is “Everything Worth Remembering” and with all of the change coming around the corner this January, we need to remember Rule Number One:
We are turning our blog into a type of forum on transitions and everyone is invited to participate in the Comment box.
Because, girlfriend therapy. We need our Tribe!
For January, let’s discuss moving house, whether across town, like my family did five years ago, or across the planet, as some of my crazy rellies have done.
Jan 6th: everyone else moving and leaving you in an empty nest
Jan 13th: moving from home to college
Jan 20th: moving from house to house
Jan 27th: moving from home to an elder care facility
I was mourning the loss of accessible auxiliary jewelry (not that I could find whatever I wanted in the drifts of her cyclone-decorated room, but the good stuff was usually on the top pile) when I heard my girls discussing their imminent move.
“You’re keeping your hair drier in your room,” said one, “I don’t need it and the bathroom is teeny tiny.”
“We need a bookshelf. That’s top of the list.”
“People have to take off their shoes in the house.”
“Yeah, and no dirty dishes left in the sink.”
It gives me great satisfaction to say, “I told you so.” Kid number three, she who will not be hangered, the Queen of Quite a Lot, the distributor of flotsam in every corner of the house, was preparing a Pre-Nup in tidy little lines.
Perspective is everything, and there is nothing like moving houses to find it.
Pro: Middle Child finally cares about tidiness.
Con: I will not have access to her cute shoes either. Argh.
Please share thoughts below on an emptying nest; they are uniquely yours, and – happily for the rest of us – universal.
The Forgetful Files is creating safe, supportive space to explore different life transitions with courage, kindness, humor, and practicality. Please join the conversation by commenting in the box below and check back frequently on topics that hit home for you. By offering your unique perspective and resources, we can remember that no one is alone during a plot twist…unless they’re Jane Eyre.
- Identify the Transition, “This happened”
- And its little pile of emotional baggage, “And I feel/felt this”
- “Here are my Pros and Cons”:
- This is worth Remembering (“I think this might help!”):
But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
(So there’s that.)